Worse year EVER

 

Yes, Carrie fisher died yesterday, and Bowie died this year. Yes we proberbly killed a lot of people by human ignorance and stupidity. Humans have an almost insatiable lust for violance, we are very good at killing ourselves, and our planet. It's not been the best year but on a scale of bad years, perhaps a little perspective here. A year when 200 million humans up and died from the plague, from an estimated 450 million world population. Now that's a bad bad year. Or in 1918 when a further 100 000 people died of Spanish influenza, right after we'd pretty much flattened most of Europe, in a bloody war we got into almost entirly by accident. So yes it was a bad year, but we will survive. Something else we humans are very good at, so far is surviving. 

Love is

 

I know our friend Alex really was our friend when instead of dropping us at the train he drove all the way to the air port and had dinner with us, before we went on holiday. Really when we it all comes down to it, this is why we make friends, build families, have relationships at all. You know you are loved when someone gets out of bed at 2am to pick you up at the airport, or drives for an hour out of their way, or takes a train to meet you when you land. That's love in it's simplest form. When even though your a self sufficient little human they come to take you, or meet you at the air port. It's says your important to me. It's say you matter and when you aren't their you are missed. 

Don't spent time with people who won't meet you at the airport, really those people are only around for the party, when life happens they will be no where to be found. 

The sea inside

 

For some this time of year can be rather than a time of celebration. A time for sadness, loneliness. While we reflect upon the year that was. Preparing for a new year ahead. Some of us may wonder what is it all for? What meaning does my life have? 

If we are to live a fulfilled life of meaning the examination of the sea inside is an important aspect in our search for meaning. 

In today's world of constant stimulation, and mental distraction. Is something which is increasingly illusive. Particularly at this time of year, when every advert we see seems to say, bye this and you will be happy, take this vacation and you will feel rested and fulfilled. 

"What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task."(1) 

What causes us live a life filled with meaning, in Frankels view, the the desire to find something to love for. Some goal, some person, some persuite which requires us and only us to make. This if at this time of year, you struggle to find hope. Find for that thing which leads you to hope, we are all able to constribute to making the world better. More wonderful place, for our fellow man. Be that thing, a piece of work, an artwork, and idea. A person who needs you, a pet who you love. 

Always remember to hope for a brighter future. For a better day. For yes no matter how immense your suffering. There will be a better day. A day when you look back on today and think wow if only I could have seen what today lead too. If only I had realized then what I know know. Never give up. You life without a double is perspousefull. You life have value and meaning. 

"Hey you. Don't give up." 

1.Mans search for meaning- Frankel, Victor

Letuce celebrate

 

Let us celebrate, the resilience of the human spirit this Christmas. Let us celebrate the space for allowing creative expression, and having the courage to share that creativity with the world. Let us celebrate hope, peace and joy. Let us celebrate find a life of purpose, and meaning in 2017. Let us celebrate life in all its forms. Let us celebrate the simple pleasure which bring us joy. Take long walks on the beach, spend time watching the sun set, stride towards enjoyment of every breath. 

Have a blessed Christmas. 

 

Peas on earth

 

During this festive seasons, let us consider to bring peace to those around us. Let us be kinder, to others and the environment. Let us strive always, for justice for all. Let us think kindly on man and beast. Let us spare a thought and possibly an action for people the world over who suffer some kind of  tragedy, be they Muslim, Syrian or other wise, German, French, Sudanese, or any other place on earth this year which have undergone unimaginable suffering this year. We are all human, let us strive for the triumph of decent over the indecent men. After this year which marked with human mandness let use be those who bring sanity to the world. Happy celebrations everyone. 

 

Internalized rain

 

For those of you, who struggle with the infinite sadness. I'm sure you can relate to those days when you feel like, nope - mind says nope to the production of the happy chemicals. And yet you continue about your day, regardless with the hope that tomorrow there may be co-operation. You smile even though you don't feel like it, because one can't always be an Eeyore. 

So if you are having a day like that today. A reminder, today is just today, tomorrow may be better. Take a moment to do something you love, to fill up your soul with happiness. And if you feel like in inner rain is threatening to drown you, do go talk to someone. Have compassion for yourself. Life is a marathon not a sprint. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself the room, take the time you need. 

Brain fog

 

The extent of the ability of my mind to focus on well anything after 2 1:2 weeks of marking & invidulating. Nil. When you've been staring at a page for 15min taking nothing in. It's time for a nap. 

Grin

 

The immense relief one feels putting a proposal together for a long while and finally get in approved by the faculty. Only to discover its to late in the year to register. So bitter sweet, it hurts. Sigh if only things where strait forward. 

Undirected actions

 

Today's post has to do with the notion of following instructions & creativity. Yes you are a creative person I get that. Please read the information your lectures give to you, especially is the tell you something 4 times. Hint, THIS IS IMPORTANT enough for me to explain 4 times pay attention!!!! 

Brixton Kwai

Random Friday night doodles. On the theme #lovebrixton 

Where we live

Where I live, and what inspires me to think and create. Is the Frenzy of living in a small house on-top of a big hill, in the middle of a massive city devoid of silence. Awash with motions and kinetic energy. Perhaps we all need contrast for creativity.  

Ideal Living Location

Ideally, I think, we all crave solitude. Spaces to think and Breath space to be alone, to meditate on the world, the divine or just be by ourselves away from the trappings of everyday life. Away from the consumer-driven frenzy of existence in the 21st Century. 

Space

All of us, suck at something. There is a necessary space for lets called constructive failure. Apparently, I fail at spelling as evidenced above. My thought is about the current perception that if at first, one doesn't succeed. One just isn't cut out for something.  Or one just doesn't have the talent.  Timing and experience play a critical role in talent as do the need to find the space within any job to constructively not succeed.  It seems to be an art form we have lost the talent for, excuse the pun. We are so busy setting our children up for success that we fail to teach them the necessary path of failure within any truly creative endeavour. 

Creativity thrives in the happenstance space between perfection and disaster.  To find people to work with who will allow you the space to try and fail and try again. Those people are the ones who will lead you to create your best work. The path may be fraught with conflict and misdirection. However, the space to think and create meaningful work is constructed with afternoons of staring at clouds and wondering aimlessly exploring ideas and possibilities. 

All to often overlooked in our modern rush towards resolution. 

Headlines

This is a precursor to a piece I've been thinking about. Something about the language we use to describe events in relation to perceived public opinion of the facts. How media ultimately potentially controls how we understand and perceive or agree on issues. 

FUBAR

The last few weeks on Wits campus have been a little nuts. 

The middle (Class)

Reflecting on the goings on our campus over the last few days, shock, horror. An overwhelming sense of sadness and loss. That, partially the place where I have always felt safe. This place of knowledge has been so devastated.  Now reflects only anger and the inability for conversation for dialogue. How has our supposed democratic country fallen so far, neglected for so long any semblance of a democratic process in favour of what exactly? The protection of the few wealthy at the expense of the poor. Meanwhile, the privileged few, sit in their lush gardens and discuss, pot holes, and how the new administration is going to fix 'everything'. Possibly again at the expense of those who have no voice.  Where you sit and eat cake and drink expensive drinks, far removed from and unable to engage with the injustice which happens all around. 

Where is the voice of our supposed democratic government on this issue? Why have they said almost nothing in 3 Weeks? Paper bag citizens. Like everything is fine, nothing is amiss here. Let's just keep on like normal. As if this state of affairs is in any way normal... 

Students protesters and Police Retaliation

Todays Muttering, I've drawn a map of police action and student numbers on East campus between 11:30 & 1:30. Tuesday 05 October 2016. 

Based on Twitter photographs and personal observation. 

Round circles concentration of students

squares police vehicals

X - stun grenades

O - Green gas

_____._____._____ Rubber bullets. 

The academic position

Sitting in my office today, listening to the stun grenades and rubber bullets. The small of smoke and gas. Really where does one find a place to stand. And take a stand one must, as Eli wisel once said. "We must take sides, neutrality helps the oppressors,never the oppressed ?" Where is the side in this fight where each side is partially at fail for the mess we find ourselves in. A negotiation cannot be had when no one is willing to give an inch. 

Relax ( can also be read as chill out)

In the ridiculous expectations we make for ourselves. Do we ever stop and think, would I expect this level of perfection from others? It may be neccicary to cut yourself a little slack once in a while. 

Threat

Protestors needs

As Evidenced by a sign lying in out building today, "Please listen to the students". May reflect a profound need by Fees must fall protestors. Is it more important to be heard or effect actual change? If there some invisible line between actual on the ground change, long term vs short term goal meeting. Or is the point that within our media-mad society, with everyone's life on display all the time, and attention demanding increasing needed to be affirmed and valuable and necessary member of society. Do student protestors primarily want to be heard?

Protestors

Sometimes one wonders about the level of hysteria on campus, versus actual threat to safety.  Wits Staff can be divided into two camps. People more afraid of police and student protesters. People more afraid of Student protesters than police. Perhaps it depends on whether someone has been on the receiving end of police brutality or not. Mostly one seems to see that unless some form of crowd thought is actively present, the level of violent protestors in any crowd is fairly low.  Add riot gear and stun grenades, and tear gas. The Level may increase significantly. Of course, I have no scientific proof of this, this is just my observation. 

Dogs

Yup, after all that the one place I don't want the dogs to be. Yup that's the spot... 

Places I'd like to go

Places I'd like to go, to be quite. 

I didn't need sleep anyway

The joy of insomnia, after spending an entire afternoon in meetings and being even more muddled as to the way forward.... No sleep brain fizzing until 3am. 

Silence

I could speak on many things today. Today I will speak about silence. Are we complicit in our silence? For the better part of this year, I've been working on some artwork, which has to do with the notion that the Cry of equal education for all has fallen on deaf ears. That the desires of the 'youth' have been ignored for so long, even the stones have fallen silent.

Today protesting students at Wits Campus pelted the Great Hall with rocks. When an institute of learning fails to learn, what can we do? When anger seems for many to be the only way their voices are heard, have we failed out youth? We have watched silently for a year now. As these students have grown angrier & angrier with the process. While I do not condone such needless anger, I sympathize with their rage. 

How much longer must good South African citizens wait for the equality they were promised? How much longer must they wait for the right to education? How much longer must the mass of South Africans live in poverty? 

We the middle class, are we complicit in our silence?  Have we by saying nothing, become those who are to blame for today's problems? 

When good men do nothing.

Melancholy, the infinite sadness

For anyone who's ever suffered from depression. That sense that everything is wrong with the world. There is nothing that any of us can do to fixit. The heavens are open with the despair of it all. And yet somewhere in all this, there is hope for humanity. There is hope that we can make some small difference. A life raft of sanity within the the ocean of dispare. Screem into the squall. And believe in hope. Some days are for dispair & the infinite sadness. Just don't let the dispair engulf you. It's called balance. We need joy and sadness. 

Have a wonderful weekend

With hope.

Brings 

Creating Dignity Through Pedestrian/NMT Routes - A Small not so scholarly rant.

The dignity of sidewalks

THE USE OF NON-MOTORISED TRANSPORT ROOTS FOR THE CREATION OF DIGNITY FOR THE ORDINARY SOUTH AFRICA.

by : Brigitta Stone-Johnson

This week, Joburg’s  new mayor Herman Matshaba announced to the press that he would put a hold on the 70million cycle lane project, “I was concerned to note that R70m has been set aside over the next three years for the development of bicycle lanes around our city. I intend putting a halt to this project. When every road in Johannesburg is tarred, maybe then we will look at bicycle lanes again,” said Mashaba. (Matsego & Dlamini 2016) Further, “I live in Sandon…and in Alexandra‚ across the freeway from me…are people with no toilets‚ people with no water and dignity.” (TMG Digital 2016)

Let me being by stating that this is not an either-or argument. The city should, of course, provide water, electricity, and sanitation for Alexandra. As it should for every informal settlement within South Africa. What I wish to speak to here, is the notion of the creation of dignity for the ordinarily South African within city space.

The largest injustice created through Apartheid planning was the establishment of the division within spatial planning of Johannesburg. Secondly the construction of the notion that the people of colour were poor criminals, and should be separated from the law abiding ‘white’ people. As well as the conveying the idea that to be poor is undignified. The policies which were enacted to achieve this and their spatial implications are still visible within the city of Johannesburg today.

                                                                                             Alexndra & Sandton, J.Miller (2016)

This kind of separation has been beautifully illustrated by Jonny Miller, in his work “Unequal Scenes” (2016). In the attempt to redress the social, Ill of apartheid planning. Needless to say, some notion of repairing this kind of division is required to heal our society from the wrongs of the past. One of the key issues with this social, spatial engineering is that many people cannot afford the significant burden the cost motorized transport places on their monthly income. Through being forced required to commute between both Alexandra and Sandton as well as the city at large. Enshrined in our constitution is the right to freedom of movement (Bill of Rights, 1996) as well as the right to human dignity. Which asks the question what does it mean to be able to move through city space in a dignified manner?

If you have ever attempted to walk to or from your home or work, within urban Johannesburg. Or even from the Gautrain to Sandton City. You will have observed the isolating and disenfranchising space which our city creates for the pedestrian user. The majority of whom are not hipster cyclist, or elite, professionals. But ordinary people who are walking from the train, their home, the taxi route to their place of work.  Our city space substantially reinforces the notion that to be poor and unable to afford a car is undignified. That a person who uses these ways of moving about are less than human, Subclass citizens, whose ideas, values and hopes are to be ignored over those of individuals who drive cars, or are wealthy or middle class. How we make space says profound things about how we view people, merely asking people what they need does little to redress the wrongs of the past. People on the bead line will naturally begin with “we need water, electricity, sanitation & Food.”

What such project like the BRT, Corridors of Freedom, Cycle routes do. Is to give the poor something which is not an immediate need. It gives them a place within our society, it acknowledges the past wrong spatially and points to our hope for an equal society. To clarify, it is my belief that an equal society is a society where the rich take public transport and walk to work. Rather than a society where everyone has a car.  Equality has much less to do with wealth, than a society where anyone’s full human capital can be reached.

While I agree that Cycle lanes are not used to capacity, the added benefits which come with prominent non-motorized transport roots, are vital for redressing these divisions. It creates safe & decent sidewalks for people to use along main transport roots. Which give pedestrians equal right to the city space previously reserved for vehicles and cuts down on time it takes to move safely through the city. It gives people the right to access the city free of harassment from privatized public spaces. By creating a connection between such sites as Sandton & Alexandra, Soweto & Cbd. It gives people the right to choose how they wish to move through the city.  It empowers the poor to become self-reliant, rather than reliant on government intervention. It creates an opportunity for micro business related to the needs of people moving through these space. Promote city use which is not controlled by Capital.

What does it mean to live the dignified life we have enshrined in our constitution?  Because Apartheid was a system of restriction, primarily of movement.  If we fail to redress this fundamental right, we do not manage to give dignity to the people within our society who need it the most. To live with dignity is to be valued as equal before the law. Equal in our right to walk where we desire to, in a manner which in which our lives are free from endangerment. It is to have a place within the society where our lives can be acted out in a manner that we choose. It is the right to occupy city space without fear of accusation of criminality simply because one is poor. It is the right to rest when needed, to live out our lives in ways which are meaningful. Be that though being allowed to express our desired in the spaces we inhabit. Or through creating meaningful spaces, within the city grid. It is to be allowed to move & think freely. To decide for one’s self what one wishes to do.  Each South African Citizen has the right of universal suffrage; that means they viewed as citizens capable of making decisions which have the best interest of themselves, their family, community, and the country at heart. They are not children. They are not criminal until proven otherwise. They have the right to occupy space in any manner they see fit.  What Sidewalks and transport link do, in short, is the create the space in which citizens can do that.  Free of the supervision and surveillance present within many other city areas.  

Citations:
P.mashego and p.dlamini (2016) Herman Mashaba takes aim at e-tolls, cadres and cycle lanes Businessday Live. (INTERNET) http://www.bdlive.co.za/national/2016/09/13/herman-mashaba-takes-aim-at-e-tolls-cadres-and-cycle-lanes  Cited: 2016.09.16 Author Unkown (2016), Dignity of people in Alex trumps cycles lanes: Mashaba defends the decision .Times Live Digital (INTERNET) http://www.sowetanlive.co.za/news/2016/09/14/dignity-of-people-in-alex-trumps-cycles-lanes-mashaba-defends-decision...  Cited: 2016.09.16

Johnny Miller (2016) Unequal Scenes INTERNET http://www.unequalscenes.com/alexandra-sandton Cited: 2016.09.16

Thinking

Just being by yourself alone and thinking is quite a difficult thing to do. Sometimes I wonder how we are supposed to create anything meaningful at all, when there never seems to be any time to just sit and think. To ponder about what we are doing here, and what it means to be human. Or just to day dream, what happened to day dreaming? What happens to idle time, to time for lying and staring at the sky, or wondering in bordom, discovering new ways to make things or dreaming up stories, or mocking nails into planks for no apparent reason. Sometimes the only reason I am nostalgic about my early child hood,  is that it was filled with unstructured  time to muck about. Surplies to create things and endless time to try things out without supervision. 

Brigs. 

Vale of comparison

I don't know about you, but I should be banned from Facebook or social media of any kind. Mainly since one never sees the pain and suffering it takes to produce anything worth making. If not suffering at least the massive effort required to produce good work of any kind. Comparison is not good for me. I bring out the spireders of inadequacy. Yes I should probebly see that shrink again. Unresolved child hood issues blah, blah, blah. The is nothing like being surrounded by the suck of archit-students to bring out ones worst fear. That and Facebook. Unhealthy to the core. It should be banned, the whole look at me, look what I did last Tuesday, look how great my work is.......look who I'm meeting with speaking too.

I may become an minimalist, throw away everything which doesn't bring meaning to my life. And creat beautiful things. Hey it may even make me richer, not needing to bye so much stuff..... Any how. Happy Monday. Your amazing, well done for doing what ever you do for a living. Its extraordinary that every where people get out of bed and do things every day, make things contribute to sociaty think up things out of thin air. As one woman put it. About on of my sketches. Did you dream that up right out of your head? Yup. It's a little crazy in here. 

When I feel particularly crazy there's a book a like to read, Furiously Happy - Jenny Lawson. Check it out. It will make your crazy feel normal. Or at least remind you that hey, I'm not alone. 

Happy Monday bunnies.

Brigs. 

Taxonomy of pizza eaters

That is all. 

Friendship taxonomy

In any taxonomy of 

Friendship is is neccicary to classify persons from friends, people who whine to share you very soul, these people are at least for me universally odd in their own unique way. Wonderful as my grandmother would put it. She herself I've recently discovered marches to her own tune born a good 6 decades to soon. She of her red jumpers, and quirk. 

Next are kindred spirits, these souls are people who apeal to the mind, to whom the mind connects on some level. Aquantances are those with whom ones life shares space but one feel no connection, shared goals or ideals, or history. The masses are pretty much everyone else who one might know superficially. While one is spending time in ones attic alone reading things, these are people who's name one just can't quite remember. But who one knows off more or less. A special category of people is reserved for people one meets at church picnicks, these are people who are intensely interested in you for about 1.2 seconds during some pointless introduction, are already on to the next person in an endless game of how many people can one be introduced to in an hour..... A final category aught to be reserved for persons one meets on line, who are wonderful humans, and for who one seems to share some form of soul connection but one will proberbly never meet. The world is full of amazing interesting humans, go forth and meet them. 

Happiness

The inverse law of happiness. Time spend making beautiful things > x 3  time spent organising cap. 

Stuff

We should really all only purchase things we love. For any use at all. Beautiful things just work fucking better. 

Things I own

More on this, minimalist thought. Crockery where does it come from? Why does it always take up so much space? and why does my husband persist in constantly buying more and more stuff we don't need? I ask you?

Projects

I've been thinking recently about things that make me happy. Possibly because I'm not feeling very contented presently. Mostly I've been thinking about the stuff in my home, the money I spend on it and the things I've planned to do that do give me great joy and not done. Mainly because I was doing things like the dishes, cleaning stuff, making food, and so on. Stuff which in a perfect world would be someone else job, not mine. And I could just get on with the fulfilling work of making art and stuff. 

Books

I have spent the vast portion of today, assembling a new book shelf. Unpacking all my books and re-packing them again. This gives me immense joy. So in my journey to have less stuff. The books have not gotten the chop. ( I may need these words some day ) Yes. I am a hoarder of words. I simply cannot help myself. Words must be love and read from time to time. 

South Africa according to capetonians

Unicorns or satten

In every election there seems to be two options vote for use or your voting for the enemy. Saten. Why is this, aren't political parties supposed to be working together for the good of the nation? Polarization does not help our democracy much. 

Inertia of voting

So I voted today, grudgingly. It seems that in the last two elections, I essentially seem to spend quite a lot of time, reading discussing, forming an opinion. Carfully weighing up all the possibilities, the pro's the cons, considering the performance over the last few years of the party currently in power. And then voting the same way anyway. Why you ask? Because I can't find a party who I believe is a) telling the truth b) will make good on its election promises. The party that says all the right things, that promised freedom and equality for ALL, has gone so far astray, and lost their way that I simply refuse to vote for them. So I'm left with a grudging vote. And a vague feeling that. It will nearly be another term of the same old bulshit. 

Election Day 2016

The voice of the people

In a small work of art I have been pursuing recently, is the idea of the voice of the people has been silenced. As evidenced by the last few day news and in the wake of the 40th anniversary of the Sharpeville massacre. Some thoughts come to mind, firstly however much the SABC attempts to silence all discussion and news of protests in the time leading up to the national election, luckily for the nation, it is not 1984, and there is this little thing called social media, is an excellent tool for spreading dissension and subverted knowledge, to a wider audience. The second is, that not much appears to have changed between 1976 and this day in 2016. The poor are still uneducated, the factions are mostly still tribal  (if the whispers are to be believed) and our lives are once again ruled by a ruling elite who are so out of touch with reality to think that they can do what they like without fear of consequence. 

Pin head

For anyone pursuing, post graduate studies I am one must find a topic as small as a pin head on which to write in great depth.

Of course the real trick is to identify the right pin head in a sea of irrelevant and unrelated pin heads.

Located in the text of a million books you don't have the time to read, on a subject you are unsure of, in the time frame required by faculty, in a way which is meaningful to yourself and your practice, which can be sustained through a potential 3-5 years period of inquiry. To say that I have not located the pin head of genius at this point may be a bit of an understatement.  Of Course one of the other major problems to the pursuit of this unicorn topic, is that is may be right in front of you, but located under the mountain of books you're trying to read, and lost entirely to your view. 

Of Course the ability to untwist the wild and loopy nature of one's own thoughts is considered critical to this project, which today seems somewhat insurmountable. Oh well, onward to continuing the search. 

Brigs.

I'm Sorry

Sometimes I wish the world was fair, that the deserving rose to the top. That hard work was always rewarded with success. I really wish our education system was more equitable. That some students weren't choosing between food, accommodation & Fees & equipment, or supplies. 

They weren't already comply screwed over by the schooling system to begin with. I wish we didn't set these kids up to fail. I wish I didn't have to watch them struggle through 8 hours of a studio exam, only to fail them anyway, because let's face it, this is the first point in their life they have had to use the computer on which the exam is set. I wish they didn't have to perfect a language, and learn 100 aditional skills outsdie of the new skills it takes to pass their exams. 

Why cant we do more, be better citizans and govement institutions? We should live in a world which is FAIR.

Mostly I just wish life was fair.

Anything

What can yoga teach us about life? Well being still for one. Other things as well, like for example, yesterday after 2+ years of working on an unsupported headstand I did one, all on my own. Now I've mysteriously struggled to do this thing for ages and ages, let's be real I couldn't even do a handstand very well as a kid. 

The thing that is great about yoga is that it has levels, you never had to do the whole thing, but you can probably do a little bit of it until eventually you can do the move. This may take you a month or a year or two or three. The point is, sometimes in life we look at where we want to be and we think, I'm never going to get there, forgetting that today there is probably some part of there that we can do, even if its only a tiny bit.  Some small thing, to take us to where we want to be. So always remember to ask yourself what CAN I do?  Because if you remember that life is lived in tiny little bits, you CAN do that thing.